#don’t know how to write a scottish accent omg

[astrxsee]

mdni 18+

the sounds of johnny’s cock slamming into you filled the room. all you could feel was his large, muscular chest pushing you flat into the mattress. the only sounds you could get out were loud, sloppy moans as he slaps your ass again.

‘god, bonnie, gonna have tae fill this pussy righ’ up’

he barks into your ear, cock throbbing inside your tight walls. his hands are wrapped around the back of your neck with his elbows wrapped around your arms, holding you in a tight chokehold. your eyes go wide as he starts to speed up..

‘johnny, don’t cum inside me!’

you beg, your voice almost an incoherent whimper as you feel his thrusts beginning to stutter. you weren’t on birth control, he knew that!

‘johnny, please!’

you practically beg as he rams into you with one final thrust, his hands roughly pushing your head into the pillow. with a groan, he pulls out quickly, releasing hot ropes of his cum onto your plush ass and thighs.

exhausted, he plops down on top of you, his cum that was supposed to be inside you smearing against his front. his lips planting a sloppy kiss to the back of your neck.

‘johnny, you know you can’t cum inside.’

you pout, slapping the side of his thigh. he mumbles something incoherent into your hair, his lips leaving lazy kisses on the side of your neck.

‘i know, bon,’ he pauses, ‘just gets me off so easy when you’re scared.’

[twostepstyless]

I’m just re reading your fics (again!) and I was just wondering if there was anyone in particular you have in mind for writing Y/N because I just always invision her being from Newcastle 😂 and I don’t know why! Just this sophisticated but also chaotic ball of energy with a strong geordie accent

Omg lmao thank you first of all bestie, much appreciated and very grateful considering how long it’s been since I’ve written anything lmao. I’m never picturing anyone in particular so you can picture whoever you want, I always read dialogue back in my own Scottish accent to make sure it sounds like a natural way of speaking so a strong accent is definitely there for her for me too haha

[riversofmars]

OMG Vastra and Jenny's wedding! Please write that! Maybe they 'never' got around to it because multiple Doctors and multiple Rivers showed up and therefore don't remember. Haha. Pretty please?

OMG I love this! Yes, of course I will! It's utter chaos, I hope you like it. I was having a good laugh while writing :D

Rating: G

Word Count: 2200

Read on AO3 or blow

The Big Day

“Strax!“ Madame Vastra’s voice carried through the corridors of 13 Paternoster Row.

“Yes, Ma’am?“ Strax stuck his head into Vastra’s study, and the lady of the house looked around.

“There you are. I need you to get Jenny as well,“ she instructed.

“Now, Ma’am?“ Strax frowned.

“Yes, Strax right now,“ she retorted with a sigh.

“You do realise what day it is?“ The butler prompted. It had taken him a while to find her as the study was not where she was supposed to be.

“Yes, Strax I am fully aware what day it is. But the fate of London, planet Earth and, frankly, Time itself makes no exceptions, not even for one’s wedding day,“ Vastra groaned in annoyance. She had been in her bed chambers getting ready for the big day when her advanced hearing had picked up on a series of alarms sounding from the study. She had considered ignoring them, this was meant to be the happiest day of her life after all, but her sense of duty had gotten the better of her.

“Very good, Ma’am…“ Strax nodded. “But perhaps we might try to… solve the problem by ourselves? I’m afraid Miss Jenny might be awfully disappointed if she were to see you before the ceremony,“ the commander pointed out. While he couldn’t pretend to understand the meaning behind all these seemingly random Earth traditions, he appreciated that they bore some significance to Jenny.

“Strax…“ Vastra sighed, she didn’t need him making her feel any more guilty than she already did. All she wanted was for this to be the perfect day for Jenny and already things were going wrong.

“Earlier she threw a shoe at me when I requested her help in serving tea,“ Strax explained.

“Do you think maybe that has something to do with the fact that you asked her to work on her wedding day?“ Vastra couldn’t help a smirk of amusement, she would have enjoyed seeing Strax trying to duck a shoe flying his way.

“I hadn’t considered it, Ma’am,“ the Sontaran mused. “I shall file that under human mating rituals: no work on the wedding day.“

“Right, okay, I suppose I should apply the same principle to fighting alien incursions. Let’s see if we can deal with this discreetly, without Jenny…“ Vastra decided, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“Perhaps I might be of some assistance!“ Strax and Vastra whirled around to see Professor River Song flash a stunning smile at them. She shook out her hair that fizzed with the energy of vortex manipulator travel.

“Professor Song!“ Vastra took a moment to recover from the shock. She stared in surprise at the archaeologist who smoothed down a beautiful navy gown. Guests weren’t meant to arrive for another few hours. Vastra herself hadn’t even changed yet.

“Sorry, I am a bit early but I was in need of a quick getaway and set the coordinates in a hurry… but sounds like I might have been just in time?“ River grinned.

“Well, uh…“ the lady of the house struggled for words.

“So what seems to be the problem, I’m happy to help,“ the professor carried on pleasantly as she looked around the study. “I’m sure there are things you’d rather be doing right now.“

“How about some tea?“ Strax interjected.

“Champagne if you don’t mind. Or is it a bit early for that too?“ River retorted.“What time is it anyway?“

“You see, that seems to be the problem,“ Vastra said, pointing to a clock on the mantelpiece. It had stopped.

“I thought something didn’t feel quite right,“ River checked the time on her vortex manipulator as well.

“It’s not just the one clock, I have checked them all, they’ve just stopped,“ the Silurian carried on.

“Well then, there is nothing for it, we must locate the source of the time distortion so we can get on with this lovely day. You’re only meant to get married once. Getting caught in an alternate reality or a time loop or something to that effect would be awfully inconvenient,“ River clapped her hands together with enthusiasm. As someone with first-hand experience of weddings outside the fabric of time, she felt best equipped to deal with things.

“And how would you suggest we start?“ Vastra asked.

“Well, there really only is one question we need to ask ourselves… where is my plus one? I am fairly certain one of them is responsible for this,“ River put her hands on her hips. “He’s not arrived yet, has he?“

“Which one of them did you bring?“ Vastra questioned, and the professor ran her hand through her hair.

“Ah well, I thought I would see whichever one of them turns up…“

“Oh…“ Realisation dawned on Vastra what sort of temporal disturbance they might be dealing with.

“Was I supposed to bring one in particular?“ River asked, and the Silurian shook her head.

“Well, no. No, it’s just…“

“Ah…“ River came to the same conclusion as the detective. “Yes, I see what you mean…“

“It would make sense…“ Vastra crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Could you please stop communicating telepathically?“ Strax intervened, and the two women looked around to him.

“More than one Doctor in the same place and time,“ Vastra explained while River produced a scanner from the small clutch bag she was holding.

“Dimensional engineering isn’t just useful for TARDISes, you know,“ she smirked in response to their confused expressions and started running a scan. “The disturbance isn’t far from here, in fact… just…“ She pointed to the ground beneath their feet. “Below us.“

“The Siluritum,“ Vastra sighed. Of course. The cavern below 13 Paternoster Row was where they would be having the ceremony and reception.

“Come on!“ River grinned, heading towards the door. “Or would you rather stay and continue getting ready…?“ She turned back to Vastra, looking her up and down.

“I would rather make sure my wedding does not equate to the end of the universe,“ the detective retorted as she followed.

“What should I do, Ma’am?“ Strax piped up.

“Reassure Jenny that everything is absolutely fine and that everything is going off without a hitch,“ Vastra decided it was best to keep her bride in the dark for as long as possible. Surely, the situation would be easy enough to rectify and with any luck, she would never need to know. “Do NOT let her venture downstairs.“

“But what if she…“ Strax carried on, and Vastra interrupted him:

“Use your initiative Strax: lie.“

“This way…“ Vastra indicated, and River followed. As they descended the stairs to what any ordinary visitor would have presumed the basement, the air was not only getting hot and moist as Silurians preferred it, it also seemed to be fizzing with energy. Reality was slightly out of whack, and the first TARDIS came into view at the bottom of the stairs.

“Now this is going to be fun,“ River commented as they stepped into the impressive cave - decorated for the occasion with the most luscious flowers - and they spotted another dozen TARDISes. There was room enough but evidently not time and reality enough to accommodate them or their numerous owners.

“Alright, can everyone just calm down so we can work this out?!“ One of the Doctors shouted in a thick Scottish accent. “As the oldest one here, I can assure you, none of you are meant to be here, I’d remember!“

“If our time streams are crossed, you wouldn’t remember, actually!“ Another Doctor shot back, who River liked to refer to as Pretty Boy.

“I think this is all some big misunderstanding,“ yet another Doctor - donning particularly well-grown celery for the occasion - pointed out.

“You’re gonna have to help me here…“ Vastra mumbled to River as they hovered in the doorway.

“Who are all these people?“ A young girl enquired of the Doctor next to her.

“Susan Foreman, Doctor’s granddaughter…“ River whispered to Vastra who looked back at her bemused.

“Does that make you a step-grandmother?“

“Shut up…“ River elbowed the Silurian who smirked but then she pointed out all the companions' names to her as they watched them bicker.

“Doctor, you didn’t mention you used to be so handsome…“ Amy Pond was currently in the process of eyeing up several of the Doctor’s previous incarnations while their Doctor just groaned in annoyance, and Rory Williams tried his best to keep her from making acquaintances.

“Handsome? Really?“ Donna Noble shot back, obviously disgusted at the very thought while Pretty Boy smugly straightened his tie.

“So they’re all you?“ Sarah Jane Smith asked, bewildered.

“It would appear so…“ her Doctor retorted, tangling his long scarf around him, while soothing down a suit. To their credit, everyone had dressed up for the occasion.

“Doctor, what are we doing here?“ Liv Chenka threw her hands up in the air, fed up with the bickering.

“We’ve been invited to a wedding,“ her Doctor replied with a wide grin.

“Who’s wedding?“ Ace McShane interjected.

“I don’t know but I love a good wedding, don’t you?“ her Doctor grinned, straightening his hat.

“You don’t even know Vastra and Jenny yet!“ The Doctor that River liked to nickname “Eyebrows“ shot back.

“Is that who’s getting married? Lovely, best put that on the card…“ Pretty Boy instructed Donna who rolled her eyes at him.

“Do you think perhaps it’s time to…“ Vastra looked at River.

“What?“ The professor had been engrossed in watching the spectacle in front of them but the detective certainly had a point. “Oh yeah, yes, let's!“

“Excuse me, everyone!“ Vastra called out and everyone looked around. Before the Silurian could carry on, however, there was an energy discharge, knocking everyone off their feet. Suddenly, another TARDIS appeared in their midst.

“Sorry, sorry! Are we late?“ Another Doctor, northern with blond bobbed hair, stuck her head out.

“Now, this is getting more interesting by the minute!“ River raised her eyebrows intrigued, as she clambered back to her feet.

“River!“ the blond Doctor exclaimed, a wide grin spreading across her face. The other Doctors - surprisingly even the ones that didn’t really know who she was - mirrored the expression upon lying eyes on their wife..

“Professor!“ Vastra elbowed River who took delight in the attention suddenly devoted to her. The air was humming with energy, if another TARDIS decided to pop up now, things would surely go very wrong indeed.

“Right, everyone, this is getting a tiny bit complicated…“ River announced, though somewhat half-heartedly as she made eyes at her numerous husbands and wife, so Vastra decided it best to take things in her own hands:

“And by tiny bit complicated the professor means to say you are disrupting the very fabric of time.“ She put her hands on her hips, her voice stern. “In my house. On my wedding day. And as I would like to actually get married later today, it would be nice if time could carry on and not break, not today.“

“Oh right.“ The Doctors exchanged concerned glances.

“Yeah, I suppose that wouldn’t be very good, would it…“

“So if you wouldn’t mind parking your TARDISes elsewhere,“ Vastra carried on and there were more nods from various Doctors:

“Right.“

“Sure.“

“Naturally.“

“But… which one of us gets to stay? We’re all invited,“ it was the oldest Doctor that spoke up. She was looking at River with stars in her eyes, and it melted the professor’s heart. She evidently hadn’t seen her in a long time and was keen to stay.

“Ah yes, that may have been an oversight on my part…“ River admitted sheepishly as she had sent a message on the psychic paper. One that had clearly reached all of them.

“Well, I think there’s only one thing for it,“ a voice sounded from the doorway, and everyone whirled around. Jenny crossed her arms in front of her chest in amusement as she watched the peculiar scene in front of her.

Everyone was at a loss for words but Vastra in particular. Jenny was wearing a stunning wedding dress of white lace, her hair was pinned up with white flowers and her bright smile was the most dazzling thing of all.

“Darling, it’s…“ Vastra was going to say that everything was alright and dealt with. She was going to say that it was far too early for her to be down here. She was going to say that they shouldn’t be seeing each other yet, but all she could manage was: “You look beautiful.“

“And you’re not changed yet,“ Jenny smirked. “You better, as soon as time carries on.“

“We will have this sorted in a minute, Jenny, I’m so sorry about this.“ River said but the bride just laughed.

“I should have expected today wouldn’t go off without a hitch,“ she commented. “Just as… extraordinary as the rest of our life.“ She smiled at Vastra who gave a soft chuckle as well.

“You said there was one thing for it? What solution did you have in mind, my love?“

“Well I suppose, to keep things fair, we will have to repeat the ceremony a few times, won’t we. So everyone can attend.“ Jenny grinned as Vastra’s face fell.

“Are you serious?“

“Well, it’s only fair. Don’t tell me it’s such a hardship to keep kissing me,“ Jenny winked to a chorus of cheers. She wrapped her arms around her wife-to-be who allowed herself to be pulled into a hug.

Suddenly there was another discharge of energy.

“Alright everyone, move your TARDISes!“ Vastra exclaimed, and the Doctors jumped into action. “It’s gonna be a long and beautiful day.“ She smiled at Jenny and pressed a loving kiss to her lips. The first of many they would share that day.

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 5x12 Souls of the Departed

Currently reading (well, listening) to The School for Good and Evil Series. It’s so good! It’s basically Wicked the Musical and has a fairy tale element like OUAT. Can’t recommend enough!

I had the weirdest dream last night that Ouat’s Gothel was hiding behind my bed at my old house trying to scare me. She stayed up all night with some blankets, waiting to pounce. Also, she was naked. Jesus Christ, wtf is wrong with my dreams?! I do not see Gothel in that way at all!! I was so freaking disturbed! @fairytalepsuedonym​ this is all your fault for putting that dirty hippie witch bitch on my mind lol xD! /jk

Also guys, we’re getting Disney+ today. I’m so excited! Let me know if anyone has any recommendations.

And you know what I just thought of? It looked like they were implying that Merida and Lord Macintosh were gonna be a thing (possibly? I think it’s up for interpretation) but he outright shot an arrow at one of her brothers and wanted the others dead too. Merida would never! Her brothers mean too much to her to forgive such a thing. Also, she gives me gay vibes. I don’t make the rules. Alistair makes all the rules. 

Back to the rewatch.

Oh yeah! This is the 100th episode! The compilation for 100 episodes was so freaking epic!

Neal! Is that really him though?

She’s staring at his lips lol!

Omg! Emma would have come back for Neal if she could. That means she believes they were true love, and she could have split her heart with him, right?

So, he appeared to her? 

Omg! The way Emma is stroking his face and is staring at him, you’d never know she was working on saving her boyfriend lol.

You know what would have been so much better? If the underworld was perpetually dark and foggy (within reason) like the sims 4 Forgotten Hollow. That would have looked so much cooler!

Here comes the red filter. As a gifmaker and even as a viewer I wanna scream every time I see it but at least it’s not the Dark Swan arc.

I said it before and I’ll say it again: they should have let Regina’s and maybe even Rumple’s victims confront them! That would have been interesting to watch play out. I know we got Regina’s dad and Peter Pan but give me a family of Regina’s slaughtered villagers. What would their reaction be to seeing her?

Eww. I hate the way she dips her finger in that pie.

Guys. It doesn’t matter that you have Regina surrounded, she has pyrokinesis and telekinesis! Y’all are screwed! She blew the flames out? She had the advantage! I’m glad she didn’t hurt them of course, but as someone writing a book that consists of characters with magic abilities, you’ve gotta know when a powerful character has the advantage and when to use it. Where was Snow dodging a fireball as one of her arrows flies at Regina and it pauses in mid air only to sore back at Snowing and their friends, but they manage to outsmart her somehow? 

Woah. This is the boldest Henry Sr. has ever been. He’s really trying to help Regina out here. 

Cora!! My love!! I missed you!!

I love the Blind Witch. Does she have a name? I enjoyed her in ‘Regina Rising.’ I remember she’s quite a bit older than Regina

The Blind Witch: “What can I get you? Do you like gingerbread or children?” Omg Snow’s like “what the actual f**k??”

James, why are you like this?? Get off her, dude.

Those key rings are cool.

Why the hell didn’t Emma just tell Henry she saw his dad? I can think of absolutely no reason why she would keep that from him.

Lately all Robin has done is make random comments pointing out the obvious. “It’s uncanny. It’s so similar yet so off.” Yes, Robin we established that 9 minutes ago. His next line will be, “Goodness, is that a tree over there?” or “Regina, you were the Evil Queen”, mark my words. Where has his personality gone? I was never a big fan but at least he was kinda arrogant and cheeky before, at least in season 2 and 3. Now he’s just a dude that points on the ground and tells you there’s a stone. And they have the chemistry of a banana and a cheese cracker.

“Her puny army of sweaty little child beasts.”

Are those black roses? 

I may be wrong but wasn’t Cora trying to get Regina to stop hunting Snow White and find true love instead in 4x20 or am I making things up? And I wonder if this is before or after she appeared in 4x20. 

I just love Cora so much.

Is that how she got to the EF in 4x20? Through a looking glass?

The fact that she could so easily cross realms suggests that she willingly gave Regina her space. Which is something! But it feels like she’d have ulterior motives for that. Also Jefferson and Rumple would be screaming if they knew it was that easy to cross realms.

Regina: “are you threatening me?” Cora: “No. Of course not, never.” But you literally are though.

Peter Pan! He was under-utilised this season. Come on! They could have done so much with him! I’m glad at least Cora and Cruella got decent screen time.

Imagine watching OUAT for the first time with this episode and you see this full-grown man refer to a teenage boy as is father. I would be so confused lol.

I wonder if Rumple / Rumple’s father hail from Dunbroch originally. You know, with the Scottish accent. I’m kinda thinking about headcanoning that now. At least, I think Malcolm had a Scottish accent?

That got me! I forgot Cora had glamoured into Henry Sr.! I thought Cora had shapeshifted into Snow to trick Henry.

Oh, so Henry Sr. contacting her was the reason Cora could walk through the looking glass. If only someone had contacted Jefferson. And I’ve just remembered that in 4x20, she said a white rabbit brought her to the EF.

Killian looks creepy as hell here!

Lol Cora, you let Henry wrap the heart? What did you expect to happen!

Why did Regina need Snow’s heart to kill her? She could have easily killed her without even touching her. 

What the hell does Snow think is in there? She looks terrified.

Archie, wtf were you doing between Snow’s titties?! And what were you doing with a match? Gonna set some titties on fire xD? I bet she could never look at him the same again. 

He doesn’t want Regina to kill Snow because he thinks it will make her dark forever? What about all the other people she’s killed?! That makes no sense!

Okay, given that Grace didn’t seem to physically age much between the flashbacks in 1x17 and the present day in 1x17, this probably happened after the flashback’s events in 4x20. 

According to wiki, Regina’s birthday is February 1st. I’m only learning this now.

I’ve never seen Henry Sr. so bold and Adam end to help Regina.

Okay, so Regina shrunk Henry with her magic but she needed a mushroom to return him to his normal size?

Don’t lock him in that box omg!!

Cora: “when are you gonna get it in that thick head...” she’s so casually abusive.

Random thought but why is Henry’s surname Mills? It just seems like it’d be Cora’s surname. Maybe he took hers on but that seems strange for a Prince to do.

Cora, don’t!

Henry’s alright!

Aww. Henry got to meet his 3rd Grandpa! He’s so happy she named him after him. 

I’m tearing up.

“Remember who you are, Regina.”

Henry, honey, you need to go home.

Is that Persephone?

Oh my God! I’m so excited for the Cora and Zelena stuff!! By far my favourite thing of the season! To hear Cora say Zelena’s name- the fact she knows her name- I’d waited for so long for this! It left open so many questions!

And Hades infuriated with Cora on the love of his life Zelena’s behalf!! He loved her so much and would do anything for her. I don’t ship it as much as I initially did because of how it ended but that man freaking loved and cherished Zelena. He wanted everything for her. She desperately needed that and it was an emotional experience to see her get it.

That’s like her worst nightmare, being a peasant again. 

I can’t with the flame hair.

I forgot this episode was pretty good. I didn’t remember liking it but Cora saved it for me. I forgot she was in it because I have probably watch season 5 the least as I try to avoid it lol. 

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

How To Train Your Dragon: Homecoming - Thoughts/Review!

[sukunas-play-thing]

I jus have to ask. Do you have an OC for my hero academia???? What's their name/ life like? I wanna get inside your head and know what u got in-store for us all. Plllllssssssssssss my amazing person.

Oh my gosh yes I do anon bean. She's still in the making. When I first wrote her she was a mere cross over oc. And I am trying to keep it in universe canon so had to scrap everything I had written.

Her name is Selim Unfrid.

Selim is the name from Arabic meaning "safe" and "undamaged". The name unfrid is an Norman family name of Viking origin name meaning "the one who gives peace"

Norman family name is spelled as onfroy, onfroi. Unfrid is Scandinavian origin.

I kept her fathers origin. He's known as the beast hero: Minotaur

He legit turns into this Badass minotaur.

Her mother is a witch whom has a quirk that allows her to control her blood at will in battle. (Similar to Deadman wonderlands Branch of Sin but completely different origin)

Selim inherited her moms witch lifestyle and quirk but has her dads temper and strength.

And as you might have guessed Selims family is from Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿. And has Viking heritage in her family. I haven't decided if I wanted to make her student becoming a hero or a villain quite yet to be in fact.

Originally I thought of her dad being a huge ass but the thought of her having a big burly Scandinavian old man dote and look after his daughter with his booming voice and deep heavy Scot accent just made me melt.

Her dad doesn't believe in relying on quirk alone to get the job done, only to use it against villains with long range attacks or body changing quirks that allow one to change size and or forms. So her father trained her physical strength using a Viking wrestling method called Glima. Glima is the name that covers several types of Nordic folk wrestling practiced as sport and combat. In one common form of glima, players grip their opponent by the waist and attempt to throw them to the ground using technique rather than force. Other variants allow for more aggression.

The key to this technique is to take down the enemy as quick and swiftly as possible. Glima literally means "with a glimpse".

She's very upfront with people and honest. Only a complete dick when the situation calls for it.

She has a license and owns a beat up old red suicide door Chevy truck. And yes her father paid to get it shipped to Japan when they moved from Texas (they moved alot because her father is mostly a humanitarian hero who moves from country to country to expand his hero agency and helps with world epidemics. Such as ending world hunger and helping countries affected by natural disasters and the like. The mans p much the National Guard. )

They lived in Brazil, Norway, Australia, And the US. Her main language is Scottish/Gaelic and is multilingual. Can speak multiple languages such as Spanish, German, Italian, English and Japanese (very little though she struggles alot especially with her heavy Scot accent **don't hate poor baby is trying**

Selim owns a cat

She loves heavy metal and rock music (how she learned English so fast and well while living in Texas. She gained a redneck personality from there. Loves going mudding).

Her favorite food is Haggis.

Haggis is a savoury pudding containing sheep's pluck, minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock, and cooked while traditionally encased in the animal's stomach though now often in an artificial casing instead.

She does have tattoos. (With her parents permission) she has an Odin tatooine sleeve on her right arm, above his head on her upper arm is yggdrasil (Tree of life) and wrapping around the tree trunk is the serpent Jormungandr. And above her right breast is Odins horns. Also called three horned triskelion.

Loves to read thriller, horror and crime books.

Has a bestie that lives in Brazil. Selim used to be a cheerleader. No not those types you'd see at football games. This gal was aiming for the world championships.

She loves to dance because of it and now can't go a day without dancing. She plans on becoming a professional dancer. She's got so much soul when she dances.

Her favorite band is Slipknot and Blue Stahli. (Never heard? Gotta check em out)

She plays racing games (like need for speed carbon) and RPG pc games.

She so spunky and cares deeply for those she cares about. Calls them her "familia "

Her mom owns her own shop where she makes spells, potions, and hand crafts anything and everything witchy. She even wrote her own handbook on Witchcraft and teaches a class for beginners looking into said craft.

Her mom does palmesrty. And reads tarot cards. Unfortunately she gets those who asks her for readings over the most rediculous things. Momma had to up her prices. She's a very humble women and wants what's best for her daughter. Unfortunately the poor woman worries for her daughter because she takes after her dad way too much.

I love the name Stoick and Volka. The names used for Hiccups parents in How to train your dragon but refrained from using the same names. Their names are still in the making too.

That's all I have for Selim. I went hella overboard writing this post. It just. Omg I'm so happy someone's asked me if I had an OC been wanting to flex on my love of Viking stories and knowledge hope you all love her as much as I do. I have been thinking about giving her a sibling too. Probably will brainstorm that idea later. So sorry... Not many will probably read this lol. Now I'm nervous shit.

🐲Queen Targe🐲

[ginnyzero]

A Reason Why I’m Indie

Traditional publishing isn’t for everybody. And I’ve seen attitudes that if you don’t conform to word counts and genre conventions and all the rules, then you’re never going to get anywhere in publishing/as a traditionally published author. So, I guess you should suck it up and do it. Then, I’m proudly never going to get anywhere.

Before we go any further, I want to make a disclaimer. Agents do hard jobs. They became agents (most of them) because they love books and reading and want to see authors succeed. They don’t get PAID unless an author succeeds. They are as invested in an author’s book as much as the author is. Or, at least, the good ones are. (Yes, there are a few bad apples that you must be aware of.)

BUT

Agents can’t sell your book if there is no one in their contacts/on their list that will buy it for reasons.

And these reasons may not have anything to do with your writing quality, your world building, your storytelling or your creativity. These reasons have everything to do with the publishing world and the little arbitrary writing rules that they impose on well, everything. I’m squeezing my hands together so hard right now my knuckles are turning white because these rules make me angry.

It takes a lot to make me angry. I get frustrated sometimes fairly easily. But angry?

Well, bullshit makes me angry.

I have spent time going through the querying process. I have helped and watched my best friend, writing bff, collaborator and editor go through her querying process. And I have comforted and I have encouraged and I was there for her last night when she figured out that her book was being rejected not because of writing quality and or bad story or because she had unicorns.

Instead, it was being rejected because someone in the last four years decided that the themes of the types of stories she tells belong and only belong to a certain age group category younger than what she writes. And if she wants to write the type of stories she wants to write, the type of stories that she loves and she needed at the YA age level, she would have to change essentially everything about her story that she adores to get it traditionally published.

Or self-publish.

And as we know, self-publishing closes a lot of doors.

All because, she isn’t writing the “correct” theme for the “correct” age group.

And this pisses me off. (My friend is devastated because the book series she’s lovingly crafted and all her other ideas now won’t supposedly work for traditional publishing all without her knowing because someone instituted new rules. She's been in limbo for months over this.)

Because these things aren’t written down anywhere. And if they are, they’re in weird little articles that aren’t being taught in schools because probably the teachers themselves don’t know them. Or, they were things decided in the last half a decade and no one decided to you know, spread the word in such a way that authors querying would hear it.

Or maybe, just maybe, restricting themes to a genre or an age level is such extreme limiting and inappropriate bullshit it needs to be burned in a fire.

-Takes a deep breathe- See. Angry.

There are certain themes and certain plot structures/character constructions that defined or launched each genre. Romance being the most heavily structured in the traditional publishing world (and a lot of indies following the same rules/structure.)

Science Fiction (as we know it) was born out of the Cold War and the space race and the feeling of alienation and how is having world destroying weapons going to guide us as a species. It was a lot of “humans versus alien invaders” ID4 type of storytelling. Shelley’s Frankenstein started it. And there were different views of it in the beginning, Asimov delved into the perils of robotics and space flight. Herbert talked about ecological scifi. Heinlein tended to go political and then time traveling sexual hijinks. Star Trek was Horatio Hornblower IN SPACE.

Fantasy, especially high and epic fantasy, was born of the retelling of old legends, myths and religions and the triumph of the goodness of mankind in the hero's journey. Star Wars and stories like it (Andre Norton, Anne McCaffery’s Pern) merged the two into science fantasy (my favorite.) Urban fantasy became Sherlock Holmes solves/fights crime with vampires, werewolves and the rest of the fantasy kitchen sink.

Just some examples here.

Much of the science fiction I’ve seen on the shelves still follows the formulas of Asimov and Heinlein and Orson Scott Card. The lone soldier against the terrible aliens must fight to save humanity. (In some instances, these are still the top authors hogging all the shelf space, add Herbert and Bova and Brian Sanderson the successor of Robert Jordan and LE Modesitt. And…….. yeah.)

And it’s boring. It’s tiresome. It’s time for a change. Our culture is changing and the media on our shelves isn’t. Tumblr is full of posts about how Earth is Space Australia and aliens that are simultaneously fascinated and accepting of the oddities of humans because their culture isn’t like that! We adopt strange little vacuum robots as easily as we bond to small furry creatures that OMG OMG it could KILL US. (And some not so furry creatures.) We have different types of friends. We do stupid shit for the fun of it. It’s funny. It’s heartwarming. It’s different.

People don’t want angry patriarchal werewolves anymore. They want more than dwarves that just love mining and speak in bad Scottish accents. (Best one I saw was Australian accents actually.) Readers are tired of gratuitous rape. They’re tired of abusive and bad relationships being portrayed as good. Toxic masculinity is getting old as is misogyny. Princesses no longer want to be rescued by dragons, they want to be protected by dragons from being forced into marriages they don’t want. Why must readers go through a sewer when they open a book to escape?

No. Not a lot of these new ideas have conflict or plot. But that’s not really up to the idea thinkers on Tumblr, that’s up to us the writers to see what the idea makers are looking for and come up with plots to fit those settings (if we like those ideas/settings.)

I doubt you’ll find it on bookshelves.

Fantasy has fallen into the grim dark crap sack worlds looking for the next GRRM. Storytelling that hasn’t advanced past trying to emulate Tolkien. Authors that emulate Lackey and McCaffery in the style of romantic fantasy being passed over for grim dark fantasy with assassins and the hot “urban fantasy.”

And understandably, Urban Fantasy is pretty new. LKH and Jim Butcher and other writers like Kim Harrison, Seanan Mcguire and Patty Briggs have been instrumental in making urban fantasy a ‘big deal.’ And I’ve read a lot of urban fantasy and finally I had to give up. I couldn’t take it anymore. Because it was all the same thing in different trappings. And I’m down for the same thing in different trappings to an extent. I really am. I’d just hope that at some point we can have more than Urban Fantasy mysteries. But no one is selling them on traditional shelves because publishers decided that Urban Fantasy people SOLVE CRIME is what the genre is.

This kills innovation coming to publishing houses. We see it in movies as well as books, new ideas, good ideas, are being passed over for the rehash of something from 20 to 30 years ago. (Think closer to 60 for some scifi, more for fantasy.) Because publishers have "genre rules" and are risk adverse because 'what if it doesn't sell?'

There are writers out there that are willing to turn themselves into pretzels to make their story fit a certain word count, a certain genre theme or follow these arbitrary rules to “get their foot in the door” and then they are told and believe that “once they are established” they can “break/bend the rules.”

It’s a lie. It’s a tasty lie. It’s so good of a lie you want to believe it. You want to delude yourself that “if I pretend I’m a man, get my book under 80,000 words, follow the exact conventions of my genre, that one day I’ll get big enough to break all of the rules and innovate my genre.”

That’s when you’ve sold your soul to the devil. You’ve stripped yourself of all your self-respect in order to chase that dream of the “traditional publishing deal.”

Indie is pushing back at traditional in good ways and in bad ways. Traditional with either adapt or continue its pushing back and rigidly holding onto the genre structures it has to its own downfall. The readers will decide on what they want to see/read. That, as an indie author is no longer my problem and completely out of my control.

My problem remains with the fact that traditional publishing houses, and agents aren’t being open and honest about their expectations for these genres that they’re pushing onto shelves. Get together. Form a consensus. Get that information out to authors by putting it on agent websites/blogs. Don’t expect newbies to just know it.

We’ve had enough dream crushing. Being rejected is difficult enough. There are enough gates to go through and hoops to jump. Don’t make lack of information that “everybody knows” yet another one. It's about doing the right thing. Anyone can write a fiction book. Anyone. There is no degree necessary. So, do the right thing, the moral thing and be clear about expectations for what you represent and the "rules" of the genre on your website where querying authors can find it.

(There is going to be writer blaming going on here. Writers/Authors aren't at fault. They can't know this if they aren't told it. You can't just "know things" out of thin air. If there is an expectation, then state the expectation clearly and where it's easily found. As agents, as publishers, putting the information out there that will get you the material you want to read and can sell to publishing houses to make it to stores is on you, not the writer. /soapbox)

Now, if you’re a lucky sod and not like me and does write in the box and naturally writes inside the box. Then, you know what, I’m happy for you. Honestly, my life as an author would be so much easier if I could write “X the werewolf solves crime and saves the world.”

I can’t. It’s not in me.

My job as a writer is to put out the best story that I believe in as a person. A story that is true to me, my feelings, my life journey and what I want to see on shelves/would want to read. If that story has too many genres mixed up, doesn’t follow genre conventions, is too long, isn’t the right “theme” or focuses on the wrong thing for the wrong age group, then, fine, it’s probably never going to be traditionally published. I can deal with that.

I’ll self-publish. I’ll continue to self-publish. I’ll be indie despite the reputation that comes with being indie. I’ll do the work to get my books out there to the world and appreciate the few readers I have and support my indie friends even if it's just with a "you can do it. Hang in there. I'm rooting for all of you." Because, it's all I can do and can control.

I still reserve the right to be mad. Cause that's my friend.

[amwritingmeta]

MCM Comic Con London

Heyyyy, my loves!

I went to my first ever Comic Con on Sunday. I know! First ever?? How could this be? What did you make of it? Did you hug a Storm Trooper? Did you get lost in this huge enormous vast building with huge enormous vast rooms filled with huge enormous vast groups of people? Did you pet the TARDIS? Did you meet RAPUNZEL? DID YOU SEE DEADPOOL?? DARTH VADER?? Did you make a friend? Did you dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?? Do tell!!

Alrighty, then! (I’m afraid I’m going to prove a huuuuuge disappointment) (but there’s Misha panel commentary further down m’kay?)

So, here’s what I learned about myself from visiting Comic Con: I like small, intimate spaces with assigned seating.

Yeah. I know. Told you that you’d be disappointed. 

It’s basically why I haven’t been to Comic Con before tbh. I knew I’d enjoy milling about and looking at merchandise and graphic novels and oh the fan art and seeing the TARDIS (I did see her but I did not pet her) and R2D2 (he moved around and talked to people and everything) *feelings* and passing Darth Vader in the hallway (true story) and just being in a space filled with people nerding out together like YES. My heart was very full. 

But.

(oh here it comes)

My nerdy heart is pretty much sequestered by SPN. While I enjoy the original Star Wars very, very much because epic (obviously) and have enjoyed Doctor Who (on and off) and while I’m a big GoT fan (yes I shall remain so thanks to the books never mind what they did on those final two episodes of the show but also do not get me starts on what they fucking even DID) and I fucking love Disney and anime and animation of any kind, and have a huge respect and interest for the artistry of graphic noveling, that’s just not my world. 

(I do want to start reading graphic novels though and I’ve been so close to ordering the BtVS ones but... anyone have solid suggestions or advice on where to start, hit me up in DM) (I’ve read a few where the art has been unspeakably gorgeous and just mh!)

But because I’m not deep in anything even approaching a multi-fandom attitude, they just don’t grab at me, you know?

So though I’m so fucking happy that I went - truly am (and nope I did not dress up and though I know I’d enjoy it because who wouldn’t enjoy dressing up as Kahlan from Legend of the Seeker? End of the day, the dressing up is more fun when going with a group of people...) (anyway) - it’s not quite my cuppa. That being said, if Misha comes again next year *dirty* then I’m there. I mean, it’s one tube ride from my place. How the fuck could I not? 

Okay, before those three sentences make me say things I’ll regret in the morning, let’s talk about The Panel!

I’m actually going to open with something that Misha kind of threw out there in the middle of the panel because it made me so excited: he may direct in S15! Ahahahah yes please! I really hope he gets to!

Now, what else?

Highlights for me were:

Him talking about the fandom in his warmest tones, which is something he does on the regular, but he spoke of the positivity of the intensity of our community and how he thinks it’s been really cool to be a part of it and to do charitable work together (hundreds of thousands of volunteer hours and millions of dollars into worthy causes over the years, so kudos, guys, kudos) It’s a wonderful, surreal phenomenon. *his words* *and so very true* (and we all know this is how he feels, but it’s always lovely for him to restate it)

Ruth sending a video message and prompting Misha to talk about when Amara carved the I Am Coming message into Cas’ chest (and Misha thinking Lucifer carved the message and promptly dismissing us correcting him) *snortlaugh* Has everyone heard this story? Because I actually hadn’t. That Misha was making corresponding noises and facial expression to really convey the message and the only thing was that the top brass at the CW were conducting their yearly set visit and were, in fact, standing at the monitor watching him. *MCM audience laugh track* *aw Misha*

Talking about how close the cast is and how much they enjoy JiB, and how they laugh themselves into shape in the Green Room every year. Admittedly the six pack is a lie, but the aching stomach muscles are a truth. *not jealous because the rest of us are having Just As Much Fun In Our Corner* >.>

When asked what he’ll miss most about the show: the fun they have on set and the people, including the crew, since they all know each other so well and have grown up together. But also he’ll miss the Supernatural community. He knows it won’t go away immediately, but, as these things go, it will dwindle. He’ll miss the fire and intensity that is there when the show is on the air. 

Which is fair, because there will be a dropping off, there will be a slowing down, it’s inevitable, but I honestly can’t see this family ever just dispersing entirely. And I almost wanted to get up there and suggest to him that they consider keeping the JiB torch burning, because giving this community of ours a few set points of warmth each year where people (if they so choose) get to interact with them while also getting to reunite with people we don’t otherwise get to see often and to have those points of warmth to aim for and gather around is a sure-fire way to keep the flame alive. Right? I’m not expecting them to continue doing the con circuit because omfg no, but to have one or two points a year...

Anyway.

Misha trying to do a Scottish accent makes him sound like a leprechaun with a lisp. *ehehe*

Misha telling us that the writers gave them the option to draw out the story for another two-three seasons, or land it in one kick-ass final season, and they all chose one kick-ass final season, which makes me so happy for them, that they get to finish strong and on their terms. It’s so well-deserved.

(I think I’m just going through the panel moment-by-moment at this point) (the panel was apparently the highlight)

Him talking about The Adventurous Eaters Club - the cookbook he’s writing with Vicki that I cannot wait to read, tbh, because I do believe kids often say no at the dinner table because they’re trying to stay in control of the situation, rather than them not really wanting to eat, and as a grown-up, recognising this and relenting control and allowing them free reign to be a part of building their dinner from the ground up and getting them excited about food and understanding the process of actually creating a meal is so damn healthy. Well, if that’s the objective of the cookbook! Just what I’m taking from the premise, but, hands against heart, I adore them both.

Talking about his favourite vehicles for Cas and saying that he’d love for Cas to get a smart car and squeeze Sam into the passenger seat and omfg PLEASE yes. *the imagery is so  e n t i c i n g*

Going full-meta and talking about Cas’ travails going to get the fruit of life without his wings in S13, looking up a flight on Expedia, sitting squished into the middle seat, saying no thank you to food, getting through customs with that bag of fruit, probably getting held up. (quite impressive actually because this happened more than a season ago and clearly he’s given the story gap some thought) (and he remembers) (astonishing) 

*^^^ sarcasm, guys* *sarcasm* :)

If Cas gets to be happy, he will die (my addition: unless he’s, you know, human) :P

Cas’ wings are rainbow (and I’m immediately thinking of them almost like peacock *shhhh don’t even start* feathers that shift tone in the light so that they shimmer rather than are divided up into single colour feathers in a rainbow pattern) (wow I took that seriously af) (but mh gorgeous wings!)

Maison is a goddamn rockstar. *not literally but internally* :)

Okay, so that’s the panel done. And dusted. *sparkly*

And then I met up with a friend of a friend who I’d actually met briefly at JiB - her name is Katie - and I stood in line with her as she waited for Misha autos and I met the loveliest Scottish bloke named Oliver, mostly because I desperately needed to charge my mobile and just said out loud “Does anyone have a mobile charger” and the blessed man turned around and said “Yes, I have one”, so he lent me his mobile charger and was gushing over his photo-op with Misha (it really is the most adorable photo ever) and Oliver was entirely flustered with happiness and just *my heart strings* and then he fucked off and didn’t come back for his charger! 

He just disappeared! Without as much as a by-your-leave!

So we waited. And waited. It was terrible. Having to stand there. Not knowing. Okay, kidding, but we did wait and wait and tried to look for him, but he just didn’t come back.

But just now, ten minutes ago, he followed me on Twitter!! I just accosted him going OMG IT IS YOU IS IT NOT! Do I have your charger?? And it is he and now I don’t have to have a guilty conscience anymore, though I did ease it by thinking that he was the one who literally effed the fuck off and didn’t return. Anyway. What drama, huh? Guess that’s Comic Con, for you. And I got to add the resolution! *sweet*

It was a grand old indoor day and then we went down to the river for food and lots of alcoholic really-really-tasty beverages and good company. 

The End.

[aleksandermorozovaa]

So more modern cressworth au headcanons I guess. 

(X) - heres a link to my first set for this particular AU

Thomas and Daciana are fashion icons! ICONS. Daciana especially, you know that girl is like an Instagram fashion influencer. She’s got this whole gothic witch vampire thing going on and is killing at it.

Daciana has a personal vendetta against Audrey Rose’s oversized sweaters and cardigans, Thomas however adores them. She’s like a cute lil sock and her clothes are ALWAYS so soft he could just fall asleep on her constantly.

That being said, Daciana somehow manages to get Audrey Rose to try on some of her clothes for a girls night out and Thomas like dies on the spot. She looks so damn good dressed in tight black clothes. He just can’t keep his eyes off her.

She asks him later if he would love her more if she started to dress more like this. He shuts it down real quick because as much as he loves how she looks, it’s not her. Audrey Rose mentally tells herself to borrow Daciana’s clothes every once in a while, because they’re right. She looks AMAZING

One-time Audrey wakes up late for class and rushes to get ready accidently pulling one of Thomas’ jumpers on as she runs out the door. At this point no one knows they are dating other than like their best friends (I mean everyone knows but like Thomas and Audrey Rose don’t like announce it) so when she walks into the room everyone’s staring at her.

She figures it just because she’s late, but like no it’s because shes wearing one of thomas’  more memorable jumpers, its like a stripy greyscale one he wears a lot. It’s not until she sits next to him and he puts an arm around her chair she get suspicious.

“You should wear my clothes more often, they look a lot better one you dear Wadsworth”

She ends up claiming the jumper for herself.

Their biggest argument to date is whether Jaffa cakes are cakes or biscuits. Audrey doesn’t speak to him for like a week because how dare he imply that it’s a cake? When it’s clearly a biscuit. (It IS  BISCUIT don’t @ me)

Thomas is surprisingly good at putting on accents, he often has full serious conversations with people faking different UK accents, (but he can’t do Scottish at all, it’s terrible)

He year he confused the fuck out of his professor because he spoke in a different accent everyday for like three weeks. Audrey struggled to keep her face straight when ever he opened his mouth.

Thomas is ALWAYS covered in ink? And also insists on writing in like pink pen or smth? So he’s always got pink stained fingers and hands. He’s also really bad for doodling and draws all over himself while AR tuts and scolds him because he’s going to get ink poisoning, which sparks up a long standing debate about how “You can’t get ink poisoning from drawing on yourself Wadsworth.”

Omg they travel all the time together, like whenever they get the chance they travel. At first its all around the UK, they go to all the historical site like these guys have a national trust membership and go to all the castles and museums. Fucking nerds I love them.

They spend their summer in Romania, Thomas takes Audrey Rose to all the places his mother took him and Daciana as a child.  

While on this trip he realises he wants to marry Audrey Rose, well he already knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, but he realises how badly he wants it, and how much he wants the rest of their lives to start.

He has to physically stop himself from blurting out a half baked proposal like five times on the trip. Like he doesn’t even have a ring. But he just wants to ask her.    

He ends up asking her to marry him while they are studying in their usual spot in the library because he just CAN’T wait any longer. Its like so sudden he doesn’t even have the ring on him, and like he has to run home and get it with Audrey Rose giggling as she follows him and occasionally stopping him to kiss him some more. (This is after they get kicked out the library for like intense kissing. She’s in his lap and it’s just not appropriate for public)

[wndaswife]

hi rae <3

i’ve come to realise that our last few talks were about me!

so i wanted to know more about u!!!

i remember reading once that u live in Canada? right?i assume it’s very cold there! r there a lot of moose around? we don’t have those here in new zealand. i think they brought them over but they went extinct :(

do u have hobbies? play an instrument?

oh! i seen u reblogged the post for a anonymous message saying what we think of u!!

sooo i’ll do it while i’m hereeeee

i feel u r a very warm person. u probably pay attention to the very last detail. your blog reminds me of the warmth from a campfire if that makes sense. i bet ur a very attentive listener. i like how u respond to anons and stuff because it feels u actually read what they said and took the time to responded accordingly. i find u very funny and omg ur writing!! very well done. trying not to overkill here but ur vv cool.

anyways i hope ur well <33

hello!!! :> we did talk about you in our last talks but there's nothing bad about that, though im happy to tell you anything you wanna know about me!! <3 im really rambling here too it's rly early and i have a lot of energy so this is a forewarning !!!

yep i live in canada!! it's relatively cold but not colder than other places that get regular winters and stuff. i live in the very south part of canada so im a bit warmer here, tho vancouver and especially the north like nunavut and yukon are very cold, so i also see why the entirety of canada is generally viewed as colder than most places

which actually may or may not be true idk but where i am it's not soooo bad, except we do get pretty intense winters here and there. actually this winter a lot of people in my region had a bunch of power/heat outages etc etc for a few days, so winters r usually very cold.. is that normal for people outside of canada?? like on average? 🧐 there is a funny stereotype where we live in igloos and stuff LOL in quebec there's a huge winter festival where people can go to ice hotels and stay there, and those desserts where people pour maple syrup onto snow and eat it is actually real tho i've never tried it

hehehehe that's funny about the moose 😭 i've never seen one!!! i think it's also a popular idea that there r a lot of moose! not around where i live but more secluded nature-y parts of canada, which is mooooost places i think?? i have a bit of an uneducated view maybe because i've always lived around toronto which is very city-like. they're huuuuugeee actually and run super fast god i would wanna see one in person but keep my distance for sure. i have a friend from new zealand! i've never talked to anyone from there before him and his accent was a real mix of things i thought, never imagined i'd hear scottish and australian sounding accents in one person! my friend and i were just talking about how weird it is how there r animals all over the world, like cats in russia or bunnies in egypt or something,, like how did y'all get there for real what are u even doing there (i mean the answer is obvious but it's a slightly weird thought)

ummmm hobbies ah i like to read and write uuuuhhhmm i like graphic design! like i used to do it on adobe photoshop tho i haven't done it in a while, i like to swim (even though it's very rare that i get to) and no i don't play any instruments! took piano lessons for a few months (ish?) before tho. what about you? do you play instruments and what r your hobbies?

thank you so much for saying that T_T that's really really nice of you to say and i think i do make an effort to put that energy across sometimes, it's just nice to be kind and it makes me rly happy to imagine being able to make people feel seen and comforted! i personally really value comfort as well :D ehehe thank u for saying you think im funny that's very sweet and im glad, i think sometimes my humour may not rly reach people 😭 😭 i think you r a really cool and very lovely person too <33

im doing well yes!! thank u for checking in and i hope you've been doing alright too 💓💓💓💓

[mcarfield]

Me listening to this new James McArdle podcast interview: HIS VOICE IS SO BEAUTIFUL HELP GOD @earlgreytea68 :  awwwww I can't help, sorry I now have to disappear to write my words boo Me: yes you should do that leave me here to die it's fine

MORE THOUGHTS i’m just going to have a freakout on you guys here hi

- omfg James dying to get back to Glasgow, bless his heart <3

- he sounds so exhausted oh my gosh my sweet son. And the shock at how bad Manhattan smells in the summer, haha. oh James.

- omg! he had an emergency operation over the break between London/NYC!!!! HE THOUGHT HE WASN’T GONNA GET TO BROADWAY OMG THIS DRAMA

- His care and attention for the Jewish aspects, like, he’s talked about that before, but he’s so — “you knew in new york they were out for blood if you didn’t” 

- AHA. HERE WE GO. HIM TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU’RE ON SHOW CONSTANTLY IN NEW YORK. “Everything was held at the Marriott Marquis in Times Square, all I can remember is being at the Marriott and shaking — these botox faces “ — this actually is hilarious to me because I competed in a national talent competition (and won, no humblebrag) when I was in high school and every year it was in the Marriott Marquis and it was such a big deal and so I’ve always associated that hotel with the hoity toity Broadway shenanigans ad I love this.

- NO BUT REALLY JAMES MCARDLE, WE ALREADY KNEW YOU WERE CONSTANTLY EXHAUSTED BY HAVING TO DO THE RED CARPET. 

[Me: omg he's talking about how much he hated doing the red carpet in NYC and how you were "always on show" omfg like am i not writing a fic about this literally right now BECAUSE I SEE INTO YOUR SOUL, JAMES MCARDLE

EGT: oh my god lol ]

- James talking about how everyone kept freaking out about how Scottish he was to be playing Louis, okay, someday i’m seriously going to make a roundup of all the times over his career that James McArdle has been Scots-shamed because it is ABSURD and RIDICULOUS and INFURIATING and APPARENTLY PERPETUAL, this keeps happening to him it’s so ludicrous okay i’m calm it’s cool

- and then he's just like, "it went well, thankfully" aksjfd;lasdfklasdslsadfkladsa oh my god the downplaying, i cannot. HE SERIOUSLY HAS NO IDEA HOW PHENOMENAL HE IS. he’s so self-deprecating. 

- AAAAAAND now he’s talking about the UK class system, yes, yes, and “I think to certain audiences I will always be a Scottish actor” YES, DRAG THEM ALL, JIMMY.

(Also it took us a grand total of exactly 6 minutes to arrive at UK class politics because this is an interview with James McArdle and that’s just what you get, god i love him <3 <3 <3)

- omfg when he says that he felt like the new york crowd was baying for blood with him in particular, i 100% agree with this, all the reviews and audience comments i’ve read for this show from NYers, people just seemed so vicious about him not being Jewish (way more than Andrew not being queer), and the critics just couldn’t seem to get over his Scottishness, and it just has grated on me so much guys, i’m so sad that he felt that, too, BUT ALSO LOOK HOW MUCH HE FUCKING SHOWED THEM.

- James about the UK version of Scots-shaming = “They say you’re Scottish but they mean you’re working class, and you’ll never escape that” Yes, yes. He’s hinted at this so many times, and i’m glad he’s just coming out and saying it.

- His love for the James plays <3

- ALSO HIS HILARIOUS MOCKERY OF POSH BRITISH ACCENTS LOL

(James McArdle, you will absolutely one day play Hamlet, and that fellow RADA student who told you that you never would was probably losing his mind and feeling incredibly threatened because of how fucking incredible you are)

- They're setting Peer Gynt in Scotland because James is Scottish! What! Why are they doing this ahaha! THIS IS SO WEIRD. I MEAN. I WILL STILL SHOW UP FOR IT 8 TIMES BUT ISN’T THIS KINDA CONDESCENDING?!

- “Marianne Elliott is a perfectionist and i love her for that” <3

- Tovey didn’t want to do it, HMMMM, that’s so leading, I think that’s so veiled haha. 

- JAMES THINKS PRIOR IS A BIT OF A WHINGE AHAHAHA OMG I LOVE HIM <3 SPOKEN LIKE THE GUY PLAYING LOUIS, THAT’S THE MOST HILARIOUS <3

- James saying he views the play as one big play and not two plays is very validating, this is also how I feel! THANKS BUDDY

- oh my god the Mouse Hunt story jklsadf;a

- I love him talking about Nathan Lane lolol

- I ALSO LOVE THE TWO OPENINGS TO BOTH PARTS OF THE PLAY I’M SO HAPPY HE GAVE THESE BEAUTIFUL MONOLOGUES THE LOVE THEY DESERVE <3 

- “by the end of the fucking run they were just clap-happy. Ugh, it’s not a musical” sdf;lafkldsf;klsdfklasd oh my god i love him he’s the best

- “it’s good but it’s better that it’s over” ahahaha GUYS WHAT WAS I JUST SAYING LOL 

- oh my gosh him describing how the fear of the Democracy in America scene got worse over time, and how it actually got "unbearable”!!!!! oh gosh, you can totally understand why he was afraid, too, because like I said elsewhere on this tumblr, the audience often thought he was dropping/missing lines when he was just delivering them so erratically and Louis-y omg <3 <3 James ILU you’re wonderful

- ahahaha omg the description of him dropping the single line though as Louis ahaha, god, he’s amazing, i love that he’s so open about the PSYCHOLOGICAL TERROR THAT IS ACTING HAHA

- his stance on being terrified of complacency is so obvious in everything he does, ahaha, what a good

- “i’m not method or anything, but i’m neurotic” — *rolls up sleeves* OKAY HERE WE GO DSAFKLJADS;F

- ANDREW IMMEDIATELY NOTICING THAT JAMES WAS FREAKED OUT BECAUSE HE MESSED UP A SINGLE WORD IN THEIR SCENE THOUGH

- OKAY

LIKE

TONIGHT

I AM LEARNING

THAT JAMES MCARDLE IS A WALKING HURT/COMFORT TROPE OH MY GOD DSFKLJ;AFD

THIS STORY ABOUT HIM FORGETTING THIS SINGLE WORD AND HAVING 2 SOLID WEEKS OF STAGE FRIGHT IS SO SAD AND PURE :( :( :(

[EGT: I hope Andrew fucked him out of it

sdkf;akdsfkdskds ]

- James is so proud of being a PACE kid, awwwwww that’s so dorky and sweet

- “I still feel like I’m 16″ sdflkas;fdadskfa; omg the self-deprecation is so real

- “I feel like I’m an 87-year-old woman trapped in the body of an 18-year-old but the truth is I’m just an average 28-year-old man” wait wait DID HE JUST AGE HIMSELF DOWN A YEAR, I THOUGHT HE WAS 29?  ahaha how does nobody know how old he is, i kept having to update his age in my first fic because i kept reading different reports about how old he was, god lol

- "i can't sing. i don't do false modesty and i'm telling you i can't sing."

jsdflsajflasjdljfs;lksdsd okay okay okay

1) lol somehow i already knew he couldn’t sing because he seems like the kind of guy who is philosophically opposed to the idea of himself singing ahaha

2) “i don’t do false modesty” oh my god this is so hot lololol

3) BUT ALSO JAMES MCARDLE YOU’VE JUST SAID LIKE 80 SELF-DEPRECATING STATEMENTS IN THIS ONE INTERVIEW ALONE LOL, INCLUDING THIS ONE

4) LOL WHATEVER FUCK YOU  <3

- OH MY GOD THIS BAT STORY ASLDKJF;SFAD THIS BAT STORY

- i love that he’s telling his RADA audition story, omg <3 i’ve been wanting him to elaborate on this story!!!!! “you cheeky little bastard” — omfg i love him, you are a cheeky little bastard, well done, James McArdle <3

- “James McArdle, you walk like a fucking pogo stick” askldfjflaks;df what ahaha

- THEY’RE DOING AN AUDIOBOOK OF ANGELS <3 I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS <3 

- how is he still allowed to not say what the play is, WE ALL KNOW IT’S THE IBSEN CYCLE, LOL

- I’m so glad he’s taking this whole month off and SO glad he’s steering clear of the Fringe ahaha, and I’m sorry, barring the press junket for Mary Queen of Scots, what the hell is he doing with his time for the next 12 months, god damn

- ahahaha i’m sad we were deprived of “Mr. Brightside” as an Irish jig. 

- “I also find now, the older I get — I’m saying this like I’m some old, jaded — I don’t even like to engage in conversations about the plays or the play. I just let people — especially people who ardently give you their clever opinion about what they liked and what they don’t like, and I just don’t care.” — James McArdle, I understand this impulse but also I think you might be a wee bit depressed

- “I’m not remotely interested, I want you to say I looked great, my costumes looked brilliant, and I was great.” ahaha. NO FALSE MODESTY HERE lol.

- “I’m grumpy, I feel grumpy!” salkjdfksalfd God he sounds like he needs such a long relaxing happy colorful vacation. I hope he gets it. <3 

(But also I’m really glad he’s talking about how he needs to keep momentum going and find more work soon because this is exactly the plot of the fic I’m writing right now, which is set right now, and it’s nice that I’m keeping it in-character ahaha, THANKS, JAMES MCARDLE, CONTINUE TO BE BEAUTIFULLY TRANSPARENT, BYE)

[contemplatingoutlander]

SPECIAL ROME FANMEET NIGHTMARE 😱 EDITION: Sam’s Diary 📔 June 4, 2018

Dear Diary,

I just woke up in a cold sweat! 😓😱😓😳

I had the weirdest nightmare!

Even though I had a great time at the Rome Fanmeet, somehow it got all weird in that dream...

I wonder if it was because of the late night gnocchi? 🤔

[Note to self: Don’t have gnocchi so late at night...even if it was sooooo good! 👌Melt in your mouth 👄 gooood! And with that freshly grated Romano cheese 🧀 and the half a bottle of chianti. 🍷🍷🍷 Nope! Don’t do it again. Not worth the nightmares.]

I can’t get the dream out of my head. Well, maybe if I write it down exactly as I remember it, including what I was feeling and thinking at the time, I’ll be able to make some sense of it--and get back to much needed sleep. 😴

Okay...so I was wandering, wandering... Walking into halls and public spaces in a hotel filled with strangers and handlers talking to me in Italian...

But I didn’t know any Italian, 😬 so I just kept smiling and walking...

Despite the smile I was lost and self-conscious. I was supposed to know where I was going but I didn’t have a clue. 

I also didn’t know what to do with my hands. I never know what to do with my hands. 🖐 😖 🖐

I tried folding my arms across my chest but maybe that wasn’t the right thing to do because the handler started talking excitedly to me in Italian.

BUT I DIDN’T KNOW ANY ITALIAN! 😬

I couldn’t say much more than “Ciao bella!” and that will only get you so far.

I barely learned passable French for season 2! And even so Weber cracked up every time I said a line in French.

You try speaking French with an 18th century Scottish accent Mr. I Speak English beautifully with my fancy French accent...Pfft! 😈

But I digress. Back to the dream...

So I was still wandering, not knowing what I was supposed to do.

I tried waving. 👋  Waving worked...

But WHO was I waving at?

I didn’t know!

NO ONE KNEW! 😱

So I finally decided to put my hands in my pockets. 

That worked.

I was getting the hang of all this wandering when...

OMG I WAS ON STAGE IN A BATHROBE AND A SHOWER CAP! 😳

At least I wasn’t on stage 🎭 naked 😳 and unable to remember my lines. 

I hate that nightmare. 😖

But this scenario was still pretty ridiculous! On the whole, I’d rather have been wandering...

But how was I supposed to get off the stage?

OMG Mum suddenly appeared! What was she doing here?! 😱

Oh no! She looked annoyed at me! Did she see me in the shower cap?! 😳

Oh wait. No. She was annoyed because I stopped to talk to someone and was holding her up.

But that’s from when we went to the EIFF. What was I doing there with Mum in THIS dream?! 

I was in Rome not Edinburgh! 

I was so confused! 😵

Then suddenly I was BACK to wandering around the hotel in Rome.

I had no idea who these people were but they all wanted to take photos of me.

OMG did they see me scratch my ass!

WAS THAT ON VIDEO?!!! 😳

And the handler was talking excitedly to me in Italian again!

“Stupido!” 🤦 Yes, I understood that one bit of Italian!

And the next moment I was BACK on stage in a bathrobe. At least the shower cap was gone! 

BUT WHAT WERE THOSE SHINY GOLD THINGS ON MY WRIST AND MY FINGERS?!!!

WAS I WEARING A WOMAN’S CHARM BRACELET AND TWO GOLD RINGS?!!

OH NOOOO!  MY HANDS WERE MORPHING INTO CAIT’S! 😱

I had to get AWAY! Away from the shower cap and the bathrobe and the gold rings and the charm bracelet!!

So I was RELIEVED to find myself wandering around again!

But then I went through a door and...

CAME FACE TO FACE WITH MYSELF--BUT I’D MORPHED INTO CAIT AS CLAIRE!!! 😱😱😱

And that’s when I SCREAMED 😱 and woke up completely disoriented! 😵

Excuse me as I hyperventilate for a few minutes at the memory of all of this...

Okay. So now that I have written it all down what does it mean❓❓❓

Does it mean I feel lost and exposed and my identity is merging with Cait’s and I have mom issues?  [Note to self: Why do writers always throw in the mommy issue cliche in dreams--even wacko parody writers like that CO? 🤔]

Nawww! It doesn’t mean any of those things. 😜 It was just the indigestion 🤢 from eating too much gnocchi late at night that warped my dreams while I slept. 

Next time, I’m definitely going to skip the late night gnocchi!

But it was sooooo gooood! 😉

Basta!

(Deep cleansing breath.)

Ciao bella! 😘

This is a parody of a fictitious “Sam.” I’m sure the real Sam Heughan has NEVER had any of these thoughts and he certainly never had this nightmare. It’s also a parody of many of us in the fandom–including myself. Hopefully we can all smile at ourselves.

This edition of Sam’s Diary started with the observation that in the last couple of days there were A LOT of videos on my dash of Sam walking around the hotel where the June 2 & 3, 2018 Rome Fanmeet was held. And from there my imagination went wild.

My apologies to Sam Heughan, gnocchi, Italian handlers, Rome, the Hilton Rome Airport Hotel, the attendees at the Rome Fanmeet, women’s gold jewelry, Caitriona Balfe, Sam’s mother, bathrobes and shower caps.

Special thanks to My Wise Friend who inspired this series.

[edited]

[descendantshh2]

Stay - Harry Hook X Reader

A/N Did ya’ll miss me? I know some of you probably hate me because I’ve been so inactive on this account and I’m so so so sorry school this year is so stressful and I am a Junior in High School so my schedule is pretty packed. Plus I have cheer practice as well as soccer season that is slowly approaching so please please be patient with me. Anyways I had an amazing idea while on the couch on day and just decided to write a little something for you guys. But I genially want to hear your guys opinion oh this. I kinda want to step outta this Descendants bubble and write about other people. Lately I’ve watched Spider Man and OMG GUYS TOM HOLLAND SO ADORABLE. If you guys want to see me write about Tom Holland or Peter Parker I’m totally down for it. Just send me message I enjoy talking to ya’ll. Lots of love -Vee 

Stay Pt.2

"Chad what do u want?" You rolled your eyes are u ex boyfriend as you shoved your books in your locker. 

"Common Y/N just talk to me," Chad pleaded, "it didn't mean anything to me." 

You huffed. You and Chad had been together for 5 months and you thought everything was going great. That was until he cheated on you with Audrey and you had to say you weren't slightest surprised but it still hurt you deep inside. You knew well that u weren't gonna handle a cheating loser so u immediately broke up with him and never looked back. Like every break up this one was hard especially since you gave yourself to Chad. Biggest mistake ever. 

"Hey Y/N," called out Ben as he approached you and Chad. 

You mentally thanked Ben for saving you from this dreadful conversation with Chad. 

"Am I interrupting something?" 

"No!" You said too quickly but you didn't care, "Chad was just leaving." You faked smiled. 

Chad shook his head, "This isn't over," he stared at you then walked away. 

"What's his problem? Last time I checked he's the one that threw away your guys relationship." 

"Yea," you breathe out, "anyways whats up King Ben what kingly duties do u have do today?" 

Ben laughed at your attempt to lighten up the conversation. You and Ben were pretty close friends ever since u were little. Being princess Tiana and Naveen's daughter and all. 

"You know the new Villain Kids that came to Auradon?" Ben asked and you slowly nodded your head before responding. "The scary pirates? Yea sure." 

You weren't gonna lie those pirates were pretty scary with their eyeliner and hooks. 

"Yea well my pal Harry needs a tutor for Chemistry and I know chemistry is one of your favorite subjects so I was wondering if you could help him out?" Ben asked. 

"I don't know Ben," you sighed, "don't get me wrong I love the fact that your giving these villains a chance but Harry? I don't think he could be turned good, I don't wanna waste my time on him." 

It was true Harry Hook had a tendency of being a womanizer. He flirted with all the girls and frankly didn't care about school and on tops of that he practical skipped class everyday and was always in detention. 

"Come on give him a chance I know he isn't evil he just needs someone to crack that goodness in him," Ben stated giving a small smile. You closed your locker after you grabbed your chemistry book and nodded. 

"Okay I'll do it but I swear King Ben you owe me."

You were now sitting down on the desk in the library waiting for the famous Harry Hook to show up. Your tutoring session was at 5:30 and it was currently 6:00. You began to grow bored and decided to do your own homework as you waited. 

You expect him to be late after all but you didn't expect him to not show up. 

"Are you Y/N." you heard a bad Scottish accent come from in front of you. You slowly looked up to stare into the pirates piercing blue eyes. You saw a small smirk plastered on his face. 

"Yea?" You nodded, "hi Harry your late." You rolled your eyes keeping a serious face. 

"Well darling a pirate has duties," he smirked out and took a seat across from you, "so princess what are we going to be learning today." 

"Don't call me princess Harry." You huffed and opened up your chemistry book to the periodic table. 

This is going to be a long tutor session.

"Oh my god Harry how can u possible be getting all this right when we just started the session?" You questioned him. 

You decide to give Harry a blank periodic table for him to fill him so you see what he needs the most help on. Once he was done he handed you the paper for you to review and surprisingly he got everything right. This confused you because Ben told you he was failing Chemistry, which in fact he was but it didn't make sense since he basically knew everything. 

He shrugged, "you can search me in you think I cheated." He stood up and surrendered his hand up with a smirk. "Common princess I know u want too." He winked at you. 

"Harry don't be a pervert and sit down," you glared at him which caused him to let out a small laugh as he took his seat. 

  "Why are u failing chemistry if you clearly know how to do it?" You looked up to question him and he shrugged again. "You don't expect a villain to be smart don't you?" He huffed a little offended. 

"No, I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that," you reassured him, "Harry your so smart why are u grades so low? I mean you can be so much more." You said looking into his bright blue eyes. 

He looked back at you and you swore there was a moment between you guys. You never noticed how incredibly visible his jawline was, or the way his eyeliner bold those blue orbs. 

"I don't know school isn't for me, ever since I got here I don't fit in, yes I got my crew but I'm not use to school." He admitted turning his head and clenching his jaw. "people here don't like me because I'm a stupid villain they think I'm trash because I'm not royalty." 

"Well Harry let me tell you something," you said placing your hand onto of his. When u did that he immediately shot his eyes towards you. 

You continued, " I don't think your trash. A flirty pervert yes but trash no." You both laughed a little at your comment. "But I know that if you show how smart you are you can prove everyone wrong. Half these royalty bimbos think that being smart isn't a big deal cause they live in a castles. But my mom and dad always told me that hard work gets you somewhere. I believe in you Harry and I can tutor you daily if u want but I don't think you'll need it." You smiled at him.

Oddly enough Harry return the smile and nodded his head. Your hand was still on his as you awkwardly coughed and took your hand off. "Then we got a lot of work to do." You stated as you flipped through the pages of the chemistry book.

From then on Harry and you had many study sessions and he was early to most of them. Sometimes you guys would study till the library closed which resulted in moving the studying to your room. Even tho Mal and Evie where your roommates they didn't mind Harry Hook just as long as he was on your side of the room. But you and Harry didn't study the whole time. At times you guys would take breaks and get to know reach other a bit more. Soon you guys were best friends (of course not as close as Uma and him were) and you guys spent a lot of time together. 

"Common Y/N you like Harry we can all see it." Squealed Evie and you and Mal walked to your locker to retrieve your books. 

"I do not Evie just because I'm his tutor doesn't mean I like him." You shook your head laughing a bit. It was true tho you were taking quiet a liking in Harry. You knew that Harry didn't like you back, after all he had all the girls in the school practically begging for him to take a turn with them. 

"Look at you Y/N lying to us how dare you." Said Mal as she placed a hand on her heart making you and Evie laugh. The laughing slowly died down when the girls saw Chad approached them. 

You rolled your eyes as Evie pointed out, "Y/N Chad alert." You huffed and closed your locker. 

Chad stepped towards you, "can we talk please." 

You turned too Evie and Mal, "I'll be fine guys I promise." They both smiled weakly at you before glaring down at Chad and leaving.

"This better be good Chad," you stared down at him. 

"Common Y/N what's it gonna take for us to be a thing again," Chad looked at u searching for answer. 

"Well you should've thought about that before cheating on me you manipulative asshole." You spat pushing him away and attempting to walk away. 

You felt a strong arm pull your wrist back as Chad pinned you roughly on your locker. You were surprised at his actions you were lost for words. 

"Common," Chad leaned down to your ear, "you can tell me you don't miss that night I took your innocence." He kissed down at your neck. 

"Chad stop.." you tried to push him off but he gripped your hips tighter, "stop your hurting me!" You cried out with teary eyes. 

"You heard the girl! Leave her alone!" You heard a growl before recognizing who it was. Chad turned to met eyes with Harry Hook. You see his hand turn into fist, knuckles white from how much pressure he was applying. 

"What are u gonna do about it pirate," Chad laughed stepping forward letting you go causing you to slide down the locker. You legs were giving out. 

"I'm gonna give u warning Chad cause let me tell ya mate going against a pirate isn't fun business," Harry spat. "Make one wrong move and I'll eliminate you." Harry held his Hook toward Chads neck slicing a small piece of his neck. Chad winced in pain and shook in fear. What a baby. 

"She's all yours buddy, she was nothing to me anyways." Chad spat looking at you dead in the eyes before pushing passed Harry leaving. Harry hurried to your side helping you up. You breathe heavily at Chad's words. How could he do that to you after all you did for him. 

Harry helped you to your dorm as tears spilled down your cheeks. You'd hope that Evie and Mal were in your dorm so you could talk to your best friends, but when Harry opened the door no one was in sight. 

"Common darling lets get you to your bed," Harry calmed you down slowly taking you to your bed. He carefully sat you down and you immediately laid your head down on the pillow tears still coming down your face. "I'll get going if u want to be alone," Harry smiled softly towards u but u grabbed his wrist quickly causing him to turn towards you. 

"Stay please" you whispered out softly sitting up your bed. 

Harry nodded sitting down and taking you in his arm. Your wrapped your arms around his neck and laid your head on his shoulder. Harry set his hook besides you carefully so the tip of the hook wouldn't hurt the two of you. He rubbed circles on your back attempting to calm you down. Once you were okay you let go of him. 

"Sorry for all that," you apologized for hugging him so long. Wiping your eyes which were probably all red and puffy. 

"No worries love, did he hurt you?" He questioned towards your waist since Chad's grip was on them tightly. Harry slowly placed his hand on your waist looking at you for permission to lift of your shirt a tad to look for any bruising. 

You slowly nodded and Harry lift you shirt to see a bruise on each side of hips where his fingers dug into you. You winched in  pain as he touched your bruised waist.  "He's gonna pay for this." Harry glared down at the floor. 

You shook your head. "No harry I don't want you getting into trouble please." You begged him and Harry slowly looked at you. 

He placed his hand on your cheek and wiped away a single tear. Your faces were so close to each other you could almost taste her breath. "Thank you for saving me," you whispered slowly leaving in as Harry followed your action when you lips met you felt fireworks. 

The kiss was slowly and passionate. You pulled away staring at him as he stared down at you. 

"I'm sorry Y/N gotta go," Harry quickly stood up and walked outta the dorm leaving you alone with a confused look in your face.

A/N comment down if you guys want a part two or message me in my inbox or message if you want to see some Spider Man or Tom Holland imagines also. Lots of love xx

[marymcdonld-blog]

introducing my know it all smart ass competitive Daughter mary macdonald !!!! but 4 real i hate her, read more to Hate Her love her Too

was that MARY MACDONALD? i heard the SEVENTH year SLYTHERIN is siding with NEUTRAL. not surprising, seeing as how they’re a MUGGLEBORN. SHE can be pretty CYNICAL and COMPETITIVE, but they’re also known to be RESOURCEFUL and CLEVER. some people call them the PRODIGY.

so mary’s backstory summed up is basically this post

born to douglas & janet macdonald in inverness, scotland – so make sure u read everything this lil lassie says with a scottish accent

she was a v precocious child, learned to read at like 2 yrs old and was reading chapter books by kindergarten and this gal LOVED to read !!!! like she soaked up knowledge & words and was basically just this solemn eyed little girl with a surprisingly extensive vocabulary and a whole arsenal of facts she would impress adults with

skipped grade 2 & before she found out about magic and hogwarts her school was discussing allowing her to start high school early

her parents were of course very proud of her and praised her constantly, v supportive but eager smol mary learned that as being smart is Good, not being smart is Bad

when mcgonagall came to talk to mary’s parents about hogwarts they almost didn’t let her go because they were worried about her being so far away and they were worried she’d be wasting her potential since she wouldnt be going to a Proper School or taking her a levels or going to university 

but mcgonagall eventually talked them into letting mary go by convincing them she would in fact be wasting her potential if she didn’t go, and by telling them many other children didn’t get this chance which gave douglas & janet the impression that hogwarts was some kind of elite special school for very smart kids

mary, of course, read up on hogwarts beforehand because she’s mary, and came to the conclusion that she would be sorted into ravenclaw

she was surprised when she was sorted into slytherin, but not really disappointed – she hadn’t yet heard of slytherin’s reputation and had no idea what the concept of blood purity was. of course, she found out Pretty Quickly

and that’s when her real slytherin side started showing itself. after trying & failing to make friends in her house, she decided that if she couldnt join em she would BEAT EM by doing the thing she was best at – being smart

( she probably couldve made friends if she kept trying but the thing about mary is that if she fails something once she’s 1000x less likely to try again and so she would rather be alone than be rejected ((((: )

and so she threw herself into school work, applied herself like Hell and lo and behold she shot to the top of the class. wasn’t very gracious or humble about it either because she made sure to rub it in the face of everyone who had ever doubted her, and even some who hadn’t. just for good measure

needless to say she was not the most popular kid in her house

an important thing to note about mary is that a lot of her self worth comes from her grades & especially from doing better than other people

she was a very lonely child, with only a few scattered friends, up until fifth year when she got especially cocky and got straight up ambushed by a few of her housemates who weren’t afraid to try out dark magic, landing her in the hospital wing for two weeks

when that happened the news spread around the school like wildfire ( mary suspects her attackers spread it around to humiliate her ) but she had hardly anyone to talk to about it, to really open up about how scared & isolated it made her feel. she had people who pitied her, but that was mostly it. some people were even saying she deserved it

so she started kind of awkwardly Chilling Out and talking to people and making friends – granted, it took her some time & she’s still getting better at it but she’s in a much better place now 

she’s still very focused on schoolwork though & getting good grades, especially now in her last year

doesn’t like talking about her emotions very much and still hasn’t talked to many people about the attack 

honestly shes just a burnt cinnamon roll who’s a total know it all pls come love her

ALMOST FORGOT BUT here is her pinterest board

added extra bit about her personality that i didn’t write before cause i was tired:

so what is mary like ??

she is a total perfectionist for one thing -- the kind of person who, if something isn’t really going the way she wants it to, either gives up or starts all over again from scratch. 

very judgemental & critical and sticks to her judgements. this includes being very self critical bc again with her perfectionist tendencies -- she has very high expectations of herself & if she doesnt meet those expectations she blames herself 

and also extends to other people -- she will make unfair judgements based on v insignificant things and will keep those judgements in her head forever. u maybe gave her a dirty look once?? u will forever be known as Dirty Look Person

petty As Fuck wow 

really fuckin loyal tho like,,, once u gain her trust she’s never letting you go and will stick with you through thick or thin. ride or die (TM). but also if u betray her trust then that’s it ur donezo  

perks of being her friend including learning a whole bunch of random facts

she’s also very playful which most people don’t know ?? like yeah she’s competitive but like that can def be in a fun way like when she’s relaxed & hanging out with people she has a lighthearted mischievous side

everything about her is quick. she talks fast & walks fast & jumps to conclusions and is a very quick witted person

a good person to have around in a nuclear apocalypse bc she keeps a level head during a crisis

the sneakiest lil fuckin liar. not that she lies all the time -- as a matter of fact she generally tells the truth but that means when she lies it’s almost imperceptible

has 2 Know. has 2 Find Out. probably the kind of person who hates magic tricks because she has to know exactly how they did it, step by step. don’t let her know you’re keeping secrets cause she will do her very best to uncover exactly what ur hiding

can be sarcastic and prickly because she’s very cynical and expects the worst from other people -- like if ur being nice she’s like “what do you want” 

stupidly competitive 

hates showing weakness like fear or loneliness AND NOT KNOWING SOMETHING ya girl will bluff her way to the ends of the earth instead of admitting she doesn’t know something ok omg 

but anyway yeah hates showing weakness so she just Doesn’t let on when she’s feeling upset or anything

that was super rambly whooops yikes sorry

[one-of-us-must-be-crazy]

Jupiter, Phobos, and comet for both?

jupiter: if you could choose your own name what would it be?

Amanda favored her name, but had considered changing it a thousand times. The chance to start over, to forget, to not correct well-meaning coworkers who called her ‘Mandy,’ It’s Amy, actually, yes I know that’s a weird nickname for it. Half the reason she started going by her surname was because of that. Once she was off-Earth and most were called by their last names only, she felt relieved. Her last name she’d never change though, even if she met someone she’d rather hyphenate the names or else just keep her own.

Synthetics do not chose their own names, but they aren’t sentimental about themselves either. Samuels, even once capable of sentiment, was far too pragmatic to waste time on thinking of a name he’d chose for himself. It wasn’t until returning to Luna– slightly burned, a little glitchy, but otherwise alright–with Ripley–also damaged, but in less obvious ways–that changing it became important. After all he and the rest of his model shared the same last name. It wouldn’t do. Census papers from Earth and Luna, as well as other outposts were searched, a family name with only dead or mostly dead relatives, and none off-world came up with a few, but of them one sounded far too Greek for someone with a Cumbrian accent, two were Chinese, and the third, Scottish. 

“It’s not even English,”

“It’s close enough, you could have had a parent who was originally from Scotland?” Amanda had a total of two hours of time in the hacked census records of Luna to file him as a human and not a ~technically stolen~ synthetic. And he was taking nearly all of it to make such a simple decision. 

“Logically, but we’ll be constantly explain–”

“We?” she echoed, mock offended, but truely surprised.

“I—Well, you do always seem eager to jump in the second anyone tries to question me.” he wasn’t wrong, Ripley snapped at anyone on the pirate vessel that rescued them who dared refer to him as a ‘robot’ despite his protests that they were correct.

“You might be onto something.”

“….what?”

“I could hyphenate my name in here before it locks me out; then you have an excuse to be on Luna; you followed me when I got positioned at Tranquility Base.”

“Th-That’s not necessary–You don’t have–”

“Too late, its done.”

phobos: what was your favorite song as a child?

No idea what was popular during the time that Amanda would have been growing up, but I always picture her listening to something akin to hard-rock from the 70′s and 80′s, (there was a bad joke about Great White’s “Rock Me” at one point, I hope the post has evaporated into space at this point omg); maybe a song her mother or grandmother might have sung to her as a very young child?

and Samuels is probably like, idk, five or something and I doubt that Weyland-Yutani hands out iPods to their synthetics. He’d like anything, and a few other posts are floating around by other people about how he just finds any music interesting and has no preference to one specific genre or style.

comet: what’s your biggest secret?

Amanda Tei Ripley had a police record until she and the two friends she was arrested with hacked into the station’s computer and wiped their files. The most impressive item being illegally being part of an illegal road racing circuit on highways that were illegal to race on. It takes a bit of digging through her file and various connections before Samuels finds that she’s been arrested twice as a juvenile and once as an adult, but he can’t find any information about what it was for?

Its canon (at least since Bug Hunt’s publication if that means anything) that self-aware androids were destroyed before they could leave the labs. So if one of them noticed that they were developing some kind of sentience, they’d want to keep it quiet, and play it down. The slow process of realizing that he preferences, dislikes, and increasingly strong opinions about some of his coworkers and managers is terrifying to Samuels, but he keeps his mouth shut, and tries to write it off as paranoia—which, he shouldn’t have either. Its not until all hell breaks loose at Sevastapol that he gives up the charade in favor of displaying worry, anger, and…not that, he cares too much about her to show too much of that.

[kingfindekano]

tagged by the lovely @jeffreycombs​!

last

1. drink - iced tea

2. phone call -  my dad i think

3. text message - claire in the dnd gt

4. song you listened to - make your own kind of music - mama cass elliot

5. time you cried - yesterday when one of the main show themes played in Lost

ever

6. dated someone twice? - nooooooo

7. kissed someone and regretted it - no

8. been cheated on - not physically no

9. lost someone special - yep & two of them to the same type of cancer. lung cancer can fuck all the way off

10. been depressed - yes

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - nope

fave colours

12. forest green

13. sky grey

14. stormy blue

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yes

16. fallen out of love - never been in love in the last year

17. laughed until you cried - nearly every day rip

18. found out someone was talking about you - not in a negative way

19. met someone who changed you - does that bus tour guide in scotland who made me realize what an absolutely MASSIVE thing i have for scottish accents count

20. found out who your friends are - i’ve never had a “now i know who my real friends are” moment; i’ve been very fortunate in the friend department lol

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - nope

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - like 93%

23. do you have any pets - not anymore alas. my dad has 3 labs tho & i get to see them when i visit his house

24. do you want to change your name - frequently but it’s too much of a HASSLE

25. what did you do for your last birthday - i don’t remember

26. what time did you wake up today - 8:16

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - reading newmann fics & bouncing around various social media apps. cackling about this one dog picture i saw on peyton’s blog

28. what is something you cant wait for - the next episode of rpdr allstars 3!!!

30. what are you listening to right now - Welcome to the Rock (from Come From Away)

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - not that i recall

32. something thats getting on your nerves - popcorn chewing noises

33. most visited website - the tungle probably but i go on reddit a fair bit

34. hair colour - dark dark dark brown

35. long or short hair - long

36. do you have a crush on someone - an all-encompassing crush on ben linus from Lost and elizabeth olsen. also jeff goldblum

37. what do you like about yourself - intelligence, music/writing ability, good listener, thick hair that’s useful for keeping my head/neck toasty even tho the house is freezing. also that one freckle on my lip

38. want any piercings? - a second set of ear piercings would be rad

39. blood type - A positive

40. nicknames - rose/hannah rose

41. relationship status - single

42. zodiac - taurus sun, libra rising

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows - LOST, TURN AMC, star trek, rpdr, merlin, torchwood, spn, stranger things, parks and rec, the office

45. tattoos - none

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - for wisdom teeth

48. piercings - just ears

49. sport - volleyball & the 50m dash away from my responsibilities

50. vacation - my last vacation was a graduation present we’d saved up for for a while–a trip to London & Scotland that was SO GOOD. prob going to zion national park for a few days next!

51. trainers - what

more general

52. eating - just had some carrots & half a loaf of trader joe’s pretzel bread

53. drinking - iced tea, immediately followed by beet/apple/carrot juice from central market, which was a MISTAKE. those aftertastes do. not go well together.

54. i’m about to watch - Lost 

55. waiting for - writer’s block to vanish

56. want - the cloudy, cold weather to stay

57. get married - yes

58. career - who knooooowwwwsssssssssssss

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - kisses

60. lips or eyes - eyes

61. shorter or taller - taller

62. older or younger - older

63. nice arms or stomach - stomach

64. hookup or relationship - relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - nope

67. drank hard liquor - nope

68. lost glasses - no

69. turned someone down - yes

70. sex on first date - no

71. broken someones heart - not that i’m aware

72. had your heart broken - i guEss

73. been arrested - nope

74. cried when someone died - yep

75. fallen for a friend - in love? no. had a passing crush? yes

do you believe in

76. yourself - yes

77. miracles - yes

78. love at first sight - nope but i do believe in a Very Strong Connection at first sight

79. santa clause - omg

80. kiss on a first date - sure

81. angels - yeah 

other

82. best friend’s name - adjfjfd i couldn’t say one bc i’ve got around 5 people i consider Best Friends

83. eye colour - blueish. sorta grey or green depending on the day

84. fave movie - either chocolat or mad max fury road

85. fave actor - michael emerson. he’s so COMPELLING

tagging: anyone who see this and wants to do it!